til peace comes forth in vain

i feel a sadness within me
and yet i cannot place it
it writhes and squirms
then falls asleep
to awake with a jolt of slight sarcasm
to taunt me with its aches and pains
and pain me from within
though sadness may not be its name
it is of strangest fame
if only one day it came out
but yet it smirks in humor
at my constant struggle to keep it in
and wait for it to abate
but when in peace i let it out
it does not willingly come
until i push and push and push
so much it it frustrating
till tears come out not from sadness
but from hate's angry soul
until again i must insist on keeping it within
and hope it may not come again
til peace comes forth in vain.