a bit of a pessimist
amazing how much u can tell as stranger and yet not to the ones u love. right?
emotions, feelings, everything is bottled up from them.
why?
because we care what they think, what they feel, how they perceive us and hope not to lose them
a stranger is a nobody, they'll just walk away but a loved one can hurt u-they have the weapons and that's all that scares us into secrecy.
better to stay incognito then to be hurt, right?
and so here i am typing away to nobody....and yet somebodys.....
to tell the truth-i believe im becoming a bitter pessimist of 'love'.....
-just the fact of putting that word in quotes should prove my point.
i mean there is no such thing-really!
'love at first sight'=lust
how can anyone love someone and then have their eyes stray elsewhere?
and 'true love'? i thought that is with only one person and he/she is someone u never forget.
i see no proof anywhere of this 'love' stuff. oh yes i am a romantic-slightly ironic don't you think?
anyways i enjoy watching those mushy chick flicks and i love the beauty of it....the little romantic notes......the looks of passion......giving up everything for that person....
but just because i adore those movies does not mean i believe- i know it is a fictional world created by imaginations of those who desire a perfect lovely world.
all who have had an arranged marriage say to have a love marriage, all who have a love marriage say to have an arranged marriage....
truly im actually sick of thinking about all the is 'love' crap.
and i knew i was becoming a bitter pessimist when i was watching a movie and the guy says 'i love u' .....suddenly i was just filled with hate and frustration like how the hell can u pretend and say u love someone. it seemed so meaningless and empty. as if there is no such thing as 'love'...........*sigh*
see im becoming a pessimist. its actually kinda scary cuz id rather be an optimist-its so much easier.....one of the reasons im trying not to think about all these thoughts....
i used to believe in it. it seems so naive now-to believe in something without proof or experience.
and now? im not really sure what changed.....maybe i just gave up?......SEE?! PESSIMIST!
*sigh*
k im done thinkin about this. its annoing. :P.......seriously i advise everyone out there to be an optimist-its SO MUCH easier!!!!!!!
;)
posted by Jessica at 4:40 PM
2 Comments:
How can you say there is no love? It has been about six years since my grandmother died and my grandfather still talks about her, how much he loves (yes I am using present tense) her. Every night before he goes to bed he talks to her (not in a crazy senile way where he thinks she is still alive, more like when people talk to god). You clearly do love. Caring is love and you care enough to call people when they don't go to school, to make sure they are ok. You love your friends or you wouldn't be friends with them. I know it's not love as lover love but it is love none the less. Don't be bitter. You will grow up to be one of those bitter old hags and you are much to good a person to grow up to be that. And you can't just say that everyone who tells another that they love them is lying. Not everyone is a lier. Not everyone betrays. It's hard to beleive but there are honest people out there. Don't throw out love just yet. You're only seventeen. You have your whole life ahead of you. Besides, if you are looking for love at Richwoods then you are probably looking in the wrong place. And don't give into an arranged marriage just yet. You could become married to a wife beater and then were would you be? You would be battered and broken and watching the one you really love from the sidelines. You are too young and inexperienced (and I'm not being critical, I'm being truthful. I'm just as inexperienced as you.) to give up on love. I hope that you are just feeling the usual teen hormonal imbalance and that you this isn't a recurring thought. That would be sad if you just threw out the thought of love at such a young age. Sorry I wrote a novel. I'm just trying to drill it into your head that love is true, it is out there, you just have to be patient.
6:01 PM
i think u just put down wat i have always thought bout
this arranged marriage n love marriage thing
its like a two edged sword
thers a proverb in hindi
i dont know if u wud get it though
" shaadi woh ladoo jo khaye woh pachhtaye, jo na khaye woh pachhtaye"
sometimes u wud just wanna go with the flow, but then u might lose track of who u really want and fall for anybody
sometimes this culture thing acts like a colored glasses.
hope to talk to u soon bout this soon remind me
when i do get time to call
10:55 PM
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