unyeilding hate

the cold is creeping in,
leaving me here,
against it-useless.

i can't understand,
warmth entered just a minute ago,
but now that's gone amiss.

why i even feel chilled
is a question unto itself,
as it leaves me the mocking kiss.

balmy frost spreads,
i cannot stop it,
and i'm stiff as glass.

yet all i feel is consternation,
a bit of doubt,
and sadness.

what is "it"
but an embodiment of myself,
the forever critic-ruthless.

and now i sit,
looking at this poem,
understanding naught of this game of chess.

so as saltwater falls upon my cheeks,
i wait in silence,
till the coming of peace-hateless.

Silent Tears 11/9/06

My vision's getting hazy,
The tears won't stop,
Because all i feel is sadness,
Coming down in drops.

Loneliness cannot evade me,
Not in this cold house,
Where sarcasm stings the senses,
And everyday's a joust.

While i'm left here, sitting,
Somewhere in the darkness,
Hoping for some comfort,
A way to feel less-
Of it all.

The future seems grim,
Forboded in my mind,
When the close want to leave,
And return's never in mind.

I just hope some day,
I won't still be crying,
In the darkness of this house,
Alone, feeling like dieing.

The Sin of Beauty ( 10/12/06 )

This plague that ensues around me,
What can I name it?

This agony that greives upon me,
What will I name it?

This love that develops within me,
What shall I name it?

This hate that revenges upon me,
What may I name it?

Of great ignorance has it grown,
Ignoring the usual proportion,
Gaining only in selfishness,
To shroud the mind of this patient.

Maybe it sprung from the gift, (used to be *from the loan )
Of blessed heavenly salvation,
Only to be thought of less-
As scurrying come the gents.

Now it wanes to a frown, (used to be *Now it come to a frown )
Spreading across my features, patience!
Only time can beat the best, (used to be *Only speed can beat the best )
And the rest hurry on till hence-
A question rises again.

This lovely youth that surrounds me,
What right do i have to name it?

None at all.